Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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