We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
