i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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