they need to just BURY HIM!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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