p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
