I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
