so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
