is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize