I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
