its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
