We're facebook friends in real life
Michael Bay diarrhea
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
