stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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