She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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