You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
