Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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