I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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