at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
