oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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