why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i barfeds in our rink
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
