She is in my trunk
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
