never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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