I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
a search helicopter?!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
