Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
