Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
