what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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