Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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