I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
