Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
