Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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