But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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