I like to think it a success when the cops are called
People in love make me want to vomit
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
