YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
