Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
