Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
