I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
