Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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