But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
