is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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