No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
