did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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