420 ftw
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
