No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
