Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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