I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
