I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
