508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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