whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
