Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
