Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
