Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
