The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
