you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
