I think I am morally bankrupt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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