I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
