She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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