Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
