is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
