i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We have started to decorate penises.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
