He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I love you. Go after that dick
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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