Do you still have your period?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
