We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
