im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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