He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
