yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
