I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
