I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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